


Love You Forever

by WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: From Sam to Sammy [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always,as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”





	Love You Forever

Sam is sitting on a time out stool, because he'd tried to wander off again when Dean wasn't around. But his timeout must be over, because Dean's immediately there, picking him up and saying, “I’m gonna sit you down in your playpen, so you can't get out.” Dean does just that, setting Sam down. Sam feels his little headspace be pushed back, and he now knows that means Dean's gonna be talking about something serious.

“Alright, now that that's taken care of, we need to talk.” Dean looks pointedly at Sam, leaving no doubt what they're going to be talking about.

“I've tried to be patient, Sammy. I have given you so many chances to just let go and enjoy yourself. But, sadly, the second you get a little freedom, you run. So, we're gonna talk this out once and for all, and hopefully, you'll consent to letting me pull your little headspace to the front, so it can take over. Permanently.”

Sam's face shows exactly what he thinks about THAT idea, so Dean adds, “I mean it Sam. One way or another, this ends now. If I have to turn your own mind against you, then I'll do it. But I'm done being patient with you. I miss my baby boy, and he misses me. He's been coming out more and more, and now, finally, he's not going to let you keep him locked up anymore. Once we're done talking here, I'm letting him out.”

Sam is staring at Dean open mouthed, quickly gathering his words as he says, “But Dean, you can't DO this! This is wrong on so many levels!”

Dean laughs, replies, “Wrong? Wanting to take care of my baby brother is wrong? Glad I missed that memo.”

Sam gets pissed at that, continuing his rant, “You can't keep someone as an adult baby! It's not right!”

Dean raises his eyebrows at that, “Not right? Tell me Sam, what about any of what I've done for you is even remotely bad?”

“You make me use a goddamn diaper!” Sam yells, glad he's able to curse for the time being. “I'm an adult! I am perfectly capable of doing everything on my own!” Sam keeps going, voice breaking as he feels himself pee in his diaper, contradicting himself.

Dean just smirks, well aware of what just happened. “You realize you just used your diaper, right? Didn't even try to fight it, you just peed. Used to be you fought it every step of the way. Now you're just doing it before you can even stop yourself.”

Sam starts tearing up, sitting in his pee filled diaper, knowing he didn't have a leg to stand on. Since that first time Dean made him pee, he's never been able to control himself. 

“And don't go thinking I forgot the time you tried going without a diaper, Sam. Remember?”

Sam blushes with embarrassment at the memory.

“Since you still think I'm making you do all this, let me drop this bomb on you. You've been doing it all on your own.”

Sam looks up at him in horror at the implication. No. It can't be. There's no way he'd let himself lose control of his bladder.

“It's true. Sure, maybe I helped a little bit, but believe it or not, Sammy, that little stunt you pulled was me watching to see if you'd pee on your own.”

Sam's eyes widen, another part of him breaking inside. He couldn't use the toilet anymore, and it was all his own doing. 

Sam begs, tears in his eyes, “Dean, please. We can't keep going like this.”

“Oh really, Sam? Have you already forgotten that I had to pick you up myself to just move you over here, cause you can't walk?” Dean is firm, needing Sam to grasp the reality of the situation.

Sam is shocked. Dean saw everything, and just watched him make a fool of himself so he'd have to let Dean carry him.

“Hard to be a adult when you haven't been using your legs, huh Sammy?” Dean smirks, satisfied to have made his point.

Sam is fuming, “Because you won't let me! Every time I try to walk somewhere, you pick me up and take me there!”

“Sam, why can't you understand that this is what's best for everyone?” Dean asks quietly.

That throws Sam, not quite sure how to answer that. “How could this possibly be for the best?”

Dean looks at him for a moment, before replying, “Sam, the entire time you've been half fighting this, half giving in, did you by chance stop to notice that I've been there for all of it?”

Now that Dean said it, Sam realizes he's right. No matter what Sam did, Dean was there. Sam's face develops a look of apprehension, suddenly nervous.

“You're my baby boy, Sammy. I'm not gonna abandon you just because you act naughty. I almost did that years ago, and believe me when I say I hate myself for it.” Dean admits, actually getting misty eyed.

“Dean, no. I chose a demon over you, and in doing so I started the apocalypse. I never blamed you for any of that.” 

“But I did, Sammy. Part of this whole thing was me swearing, to both myself and you, that I'd never make you feel like that again. You're my whole world, baby boy.” The look on Dean's face nearly makes Sam start to tear up again.

“You're everything to me, Sammy. All these months since this started, I've never felt as happy as I have when I get to come home and see my happy baby boy waiting for me. For the first time in my life, I'm not angry at the unfairness of the world. You've fixed all the broken pieces of my heart, filled all the dark empty spots that grew inside me after Mom died. You saved me, baby boy.”

Sam is floored. He had no idea that's how Dean felt about all this. But the more Dean talks, the more Sam can see it for himself. Every time Dean's picked him up, he's always had the biggest smile on his face, one he hasn't seen since they were kids. Whenever Dean's held him in his arms, Sam never felt scared or threatened. If anything, he felt safe and protected. The way Dean would stroke his hair, felt like heaven, so wonderfully reassuring. Whenever Dean had to change his diaper, it was always gentle, to the point where Sam didn't really feel the need to fuss. 

“You're mine, Sammy. Body, heart, mind, and soul. I'm never letting you go again. And deep down, I think you know the truth, don't you?”

Looking at Dean, Sam now has to admit to himself Dean's right. He's known the truth behind all this all along.

Sam says, “This was never about control, was it? All this time, you were just trying to get us back to who we were. Before everything messed it up. Back when I really WAS your baby boy.”

Dean immediately gathers Sam up in his arms, one hand in his hair, the other rubbing his back, whispering reassuringly, “Sam, listen to me. Even as my little one, you will ALWAYS be my little brother, and I'll always remember you growing up.” He guides Sam's head to his shoulder, kissing his hair as he begs, with tears in his eyes, “Please, Sammy. I swear, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

The desperation in Dean's voice is the final straw, as the reality of everything hits Sam all at once. There's no escape. He can't walk, use the toilet, or eat normal food. It's all gone, replaced by Dean taking care of him. He looks down at his hands, now knowing the deeper meaning behind the mittens. Dean will never let him go. He could fight this every step of the way, but Dean would always be there, overwhelming his mind, reinforcing his unbreakable hold on Sam. No matter how hard Sam tries, his life as a hunter is truly and permanently over.

Sam feels a wave of fatigue, knowing he's going to be put down for a nap pretty soon, and that makes him realize something else. He's tired of fighting. Fighting this, fighting Dean, fighting to hold onto his adult self. The harder he fights, the more he feels himself disappearing. Now, he can see that it's only making everything worse. He needs to stop fighting and let Sammy be with his Daddy, permanently. Sammy needs his Daddy, and Sam can't be selfish and keep him away anymore. It's not fair to either of them.

But as Sam comes to that conclusion, he realizes it's not as upsetting as it was before.

With that Sam moves his head to look up at Dean, as he says, “Okay.” 

Dean flinches, startled from the broken silence. “What did you say, Sammy?”

Sam makes sure he has Dean's full attention, before clarifying, “I said I'm ready Dean.”

Dean is so shocked, he can't help but ask, “Baby boy, are you sure?”

Sam replies, “Yes. I am. I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, but I'm ready now.”

Dean wants to believe it so badly, but he needs to be sure. He needs to know why. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Sam takes a deep breath, before explaining, “I now know for sure that you truly just want to give me everything you thought I should've had growing up. You were never controlling me. You were protecting me.”

“I know you'll take good care of me, always have, always will. I pray you'll forgive me for taking so long to figure that out, but I swear on everything that's good, that I will never doubt you on this again.”

“And Dean?” Sam stops to ask. “Once I'm gone, I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything baby boy.” Dean immediately responds. If Sam's serious, he'll gladly carry out any last request Sam has.

“I want you to swear, on that damn mark on your arm if you have to, that once I'm gone, I stay gone.”

Dean is flabbergasted. “Sam, you realize what you're asking me to do, right?”

“I completely understand what I'm asking. I mean it. All the hunting life ever got us was pain and suffering. As your baby, I know I'll never have to worry about that again. My entire adult life was far from perfect, but I'm ready to retire. I want to disappear knowing my big brother will continue to keep his promise to never let anything bad happen to me, and now I can.”

Sam looks him straight in the eye, as he says, “I want my last moments to be with you, in your arms, rocking me to sleep. I'll go peacefully in my sleep. When Sammy wakes up, I'll be gone.”

Through Sam's eyes, Dean can see he means every word he says. But now that the moment is here, he realizes ultimately what he'll be giving up. His geek brother will be gone. True, his baby boy will finally be with him, just like he wanted, and he'll still be holding onto all of Sam's memories, but he didn't know how hard it would be to say goodbye. 

Tears finally do stream out of Dean's eyes, as he stands up with Sam for the last time, carrying him to Sam's nursery, sitting down in the rocking chair, and beginning to rock back and forth slowly.

Sam relaxes, feeling so safe and loved. He made the right choice. Sammy will want for nothing, and will never know the pain he did. He closes his eyes, ready for Dean to pull the plug. 

Dean's heart is pounding in his ears, knowing the time has come. If he's going to do this, he needs to do it now. 

Through his tears, Dean places a kiss on Sam's forehead, pulls Sammy up to the front, and whispers, “Goodnight, Sammy” as the last of Sam Winchester disappears forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary is from the book of the same name written by Robert Munsch


End file.
